i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I could fuck to npr.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
