I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
