the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
