Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize