shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
