wrigley field is MILF paradise
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
tonight lets celebrate not being married
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
