He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize