no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
