i permit you to call me
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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