Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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