i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
