I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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