All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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