Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
