told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
