What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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