you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize