I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm passing your future prison.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
