I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
