I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
