Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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