SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
It's just like the Real World with babies
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
