I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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