She's JV to your varsity
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
