I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
her vagine was all disorganized.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
