I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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