in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
