But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
