i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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