wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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