Kiss
Puke
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
