So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
