i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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