Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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