i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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