Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
