I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
