my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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