i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize