Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
