one might say we're banned from that church
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
