I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize