you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
