Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
