Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
