im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
