Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
