Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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