Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
