My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
