I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
