i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
