Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
