The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
