do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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