apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
