Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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