My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
