I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Floor bacon is actually really good
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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