ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
