It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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