Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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